Sawadee kaaaaaa
As my new flat mates are dancing and singing to Disney songs on repeat, 'A Whole New World' makes me stop. I have to sit down. I need some water. I need a break.
The alcohol has gone to my head. I've been in a fish bowl world for the last 3 weeks. University has become my new world and Thailand is far behind. Think, Spongebob Squarepants, the episode where he goes into his brain and all his memories are stored in filing cabinets. Thailand is now a folder in a filing cabinet hidden underneath the millions of new names and faces and places I'm learning.
Thailand is more than a memory however. It is a different life. A different me. When I try to think of how my personality, my opinions, my whole viewpoint has been distorted and strangled and reshaped recently, it scares me. I do not know who I am anymore or what I am. Maybe this is the reason I'm studying Philosophy. Maybe I am just crazy.
I miss my Thai family. Audy and Tuttik are the without a doubt the most honest and caring people I have met. Austin, Orchid and Inter will grow up with such beautiful outlooks on life. They will learn how to love and care like no other. Audy and Tuttik are my role models and will forever be my surrogate parents.
I miss teaching. I miss 40 Thai 12 year olds shouting, "T-SHIRT" at me. I miss the looks on their faces as they finally complete a sentence. Then forget it a week later. I miss their smiles. I miss their hugs. I miss their enthusiasm. I wish I had the same enthusiasm for Plato. Maybe it's just Plato? When it starts to snow here up North, Toa will be on my mind shouting, "Teacher SNOWING!" Everyday. Every single day. No Toa, it doesn't snow in Thailand. Maybe I should send a postcard of the snow.
I miss my partners. Sally and Nicole became my sisters, my family, my life. When I sit in my room by myself I can't sleep. I miss their company. I crave constant attention now. I am currently sitting in the kitchen listening to my flat mates chat just for the noise. Silence scares me now.
I do not miss the heat. I do not miss the diet (Ok I miss green curry. I miss Nun's). I do not miss missing my family. I am glad to be home. I am loving University life and all of my new flat mates, but I do miss Thailand.
Kithung mak mak,
Taengmo
xx
